Forget goal-line technology. My better half has a far more effective method of avoiding controversy at the New Table of Dreams, and far more cost-effective.

The solution – temporary at least – for early Yooro 2012 tournament hiccups in Daftown proved to be the strips of brown parcel tape now straddling the underside of the blue end of our table.

Before now, we had issues where would-be scorers were denied as the ball crept back off a near-invisible backboard and returned into play.

But our emergency measures have already borne fruit, the ground improvements helping a typically-efficient, some would say clinical German side – in unfamiliar blau – overcame Portuguese resistance to chalk up the most emphatic win yet.

Portugal’s Ron Aldi and Lidl Nanny tried distracting the Germans with a little retail therapy, but indie favourite ‘Supermario’ Gomez just said ‘bring it on’, and Fabian Pigherder brought home the bacon in a 10-5 drubbing.

Blue Moon Rising: Germany’s indie star Gomez spots Patrice Rio off his line

That proved to be the second blue success of the tournament, the first real shock seeing Andrei Asshaving and Roman Pavlovachunk fail to upstage Pedro Cheque-Book in the Czech Republic’s 10-7 defeat of Russia on Friday.

The Germany v Portugal clash proved a worthy follow-up to Saturday’s starter, the Netherlands knocking the Danes into a cocked Dutch cap in a 10-8 win – the Danish blues left feeling cheesy by an edam-good Holland outfit.

While their Ukrainian-based equivalents struggled to entertain on Saturday, there was end-to-end excitement throughout day two in Daftown.

Think of the last 20 minutes of the Lviv encounter between Germany and Portugal – aptly enough the only bit of the game the Wyatt clan got to see – and you get something of the calibre of both table football encounters that day.

More excitement is expected tonight as Italy face world champs Spain, then Tony Van Trapp’s Eire clash with Croatia.

Looking further ahead, if you require a glimmer of hope that 46 years of hurt might come to an end for England this year, maybe there’s something in the fact that we’ve already seen a glorious 66 goals on the New Table of Dreams so far.

Who knows what Coy Hudson’s side will produce on Monday against the French, in a mouth-watering red versus blue encounter.

Shrek Looney may be out, but it could be Donny Bellwhack’s chance to shine, and John Dodgy will be eager to repay Coy’s confidence in picking him rather than Ferdie Janeiro.

Results so far: Poland 10 Greece 6; Russia 7 Czech Republic 10; Holland 10 Denmark 8; Germany 10 Portugal 5.

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