First off, I should stress that reports of unrest at the New Table of Dreams have been blown out of all proportion.

There was a minor niggle between my daughters before the Poland v Russia match, but a mere mention of the watering can was enough to avoid a needless escalation, and we had no reason to send for the camping gaz canisters.

As it was, I can categorically state there were no tears before bedtime, and the march home from school before the Greece vs Czech Republic match also passed off peacefully.

Riot prevention: There was no need for the watering cans on Tuesday

Again, the main fireworks have taken place on the pitch, and since our last update there have been 98 more goals in this fascinating tournament.

That takes the goal tally to 164 in just 10 matches, and we’re beginning to see a little shape at the group stage of Daftown’s premier festival of table football.

After early Yooro 2012 victories for Poland, the Czech Republic, Holland and Germany, we’ve seen success for Spain, Croatia, France, Sweden, Greece and Russia.

And the eagle-eyed and sound of mind among you will have realised from this sequence that there were no first-time victories for Ingerland and Eire.

Spain were in particular fine form in their 10-4 defeat of Italy, but Ireland came so close in a dramatic encounter with Croatia settled by the last kick of the game.

There were tears, tantrums and tribulations the following day as Coy Hudson’s battlers put up a fight but were cruelly robbed by les garlic-munching bleus, while Sweden fended off a close challenge from Ukraine.

And then yesterday we saw two surprisingly mis-matched encounters in Group A as Greece beat the not-so-bouncy Czechs 10-4 and Russia upset the Poles in a 10-5 win.

That means Russia lead the group on goal difference alone, all four sides having chalked up a win each, setting up two nervy sudden-death final ties on Saturday.

The same goes for the three ‘I’s before that – the Irish, the Inglish and the Eyetalians – each team needing a win next time before they return to the garage in disgrace.

Underhand tactic: Freddie Rubbery’s Henry V disguise was inspired by this National Portrait Gallery likeness

As it was, it was Freddie Rubbery who did for us on Monday, Coy Hudson’s side seemingly unsettled by the French striker taking to the field in the guise of Henry V for the second half, as our boys visibly wilted in sun-drenched Daftown.

And who can forget the despair shown by Stray ‘Cat’ Gideon in the Irish goal as his side crumbled at the last to a cracking but cruel Croatian decider.

For now though, the spotlight falls on to Group B, and tonight’s sudden-death clash between first-round losers Denmark and Portugal, before Holland take on Germany, the winners in that one going straight into the quarter-finals.

And as expert Daf TV pundit and ex-Ingland strike legend Al ‘Lego House’ Sheeran said to host Barry Spinnaker on Monday night, “Wye-aye, you can’t wrote drama like that, man.”

Results so far: Poland 10 Greece 6; Russia 7 Czech Republic 10; Holland 10 Denmark 8; Germany 10 Portugal 5; Spain 10 Italy; Ireland 9 Croatia 10; England 8 France 10; Sweden 10 Ukraine 8; Greece 10 Czech Republic 4; Poland 5 Russia 10.

* Stay in touch with https://writewyattuk.wordpress.com for more from the Yooro 2012 table football tournament